CONCEPT
Within These Walls follows the story of an unnamed man, who feels trapped in his own life and wishes that he was someone else. He metaphorically speaks of the Walls as a container to this place where he doesn't feel at home. He reflects over these visions and dreams he has of a place and time where he isn't himself and wishes he could be there instead. He decides to leave his life in search of becoming someone else to achieve the dream that he has seen in his mind. Upon arriving to his destination, he realises that his dream of becoming someone else is shattered and falls into a depressive state where he no longer knows who he is and why he is stuck being who he was born to be. Finally, he realises that these visions he sees aren't of him being someone else, but the images of how who he is can change the life around him. He travels back to his home and makes his own life out of what he has been given. Believing the best he can be is by being who he is and never wishing to become someone he is not, ever again.
Gordon Marks then reveals himself to be the author of the book Within These Walls, and speaks of his next novel in the making about a lone jazz musician, Howard Mills, who's life is slowly wasting away...
TRACKS
Stuck, within these walls, alone,
And there, is no one, to rescue me.
I feel, like I’m about to fall, again,
Back into this world, of my dream.
I dream of a place where I am free,
Where the beauty of it all,
Is already there for me,
No limits and no wall.
To hold me back,
No Wall, to trap me in.
I hope to find this place, or else,
I might not live, to see another day.
I’m trapped in these walls, they’re closing in,
How can I escape from this state that I’m in?
To get myself out, it must be a sin,
The line between my life and death is so thin.
I’ve fallen too far, I can’t climb up,
I can’t seem to face all this dreadful bad luck,
In this box of fate, that I have struck.
I’m living in these walls, but I am trapped,
I’m holding in these walls, but can’t fight back.
I can’t take much more, I’ve got to leave,
And I’m being brainwashed by these haunting scenes,
The ones from the past, the ones from my mind,
The ones that tear down my sight and leave me blind,
Injecting with force, into my veins,
Blood that flows through me, driving me insane.
I must get out, to ease the pain.
I’m living in these walls, but I am trapped,
I’m holding in these walls, but can’t fight back.
I’m living in these walls, but I am trapped,
I’m holding in these walls, but can’t fight back.
I remember you, and held you close in my arms,
I can see your smile, your face your beautiful charms.
I want to take you far away, this place in my dream.
At some point in the past, you were there for me,
It seems so long ago now, to think of what we could be.
I want to take you far away, this place in my dream.
We can travel forever, explore this uncharted world,
A place beyond imagination, this stunning land we’ll unfurl.
I want to take you far away, this place in my dream.
I see the dream once again,
The place of fantasy and pain,
And all the suffering that I hold,
I must escape to let this dream unfold.
I will depart from here, sometime soon,
Relieve the pain that I, always knew,
I will depart from here, sometime soon,
And shed a tear for lives, that fought true.
I’ve found a way to get out,
Tear down this wall, scream and shout,
I’ll run ‘til my heart starts to bleed,
Won’t stop ‘til I accomplish my deed.
I will depart from here, sometime soon,
Relieve the pain that I, always knew,
I will depart from here, sometime soon,
And shed a tear for lives, that fought true.
I am travelling to my dream,
The beauty within that I have never seen,
I’m flying, I’m soaring to the light.
This road that I have walked on,
To get me away from the place that was torn,
I’m leaving, I’m walking through the sky.
I’m walking with open eyes,
Head looking to the skies,
And following dreams of gold,
To this land I was foretold,
Not knowing what I will find,
Crawling images in my mind,
Of pictures beyond compare,
In time I will be there.
Now I’m leaving behind my past,
I’m catching my dream, I’ll be home at last,
I’m watching, I’m waiting for the sun.
The light that signals I’m on my way,
I’ll be upon this new world by the end of the day,
It’s shining, reflecting all I’ve done.
I’m walking with open eyes,
Head looking to the skies,
And following dreams of gold,
To this land I was foretold,
Not knowing what I will find,
Crawling images in my mind,
Of pictures beyond compare,
In time I will be there.
What is this mess? What have I done?
It’s lost!
Why am I here? What have I become?
I’m lost!
I searched, for this city of gold,
But all that was there, was despair, I can’t see, anymore!
I hope, that this dream will unfold,
But I can’t see why, there’s no light, in this fire, of my mind!
I cry, when I see what is here,
Where is my own dream, and the scene, that is thick, in my head!
I can’t, understand it’s not clear,
Why this place is lost, at the cost, on my own, fragile life!
I can still picture the thoughts that I hold,
The beautiful landscape, the glory untold,
I’m wishing that this world’s still alive.
I know, that this place is gone,
What was once my faith, is a wraith, that is haunting my case,
I feel, that my life is all wrong,
I’ve just been misled, and I dread, that my dreams are all dead!
What is this mess? What have I done?
It’s lost!
Why am I here? What have I become?
I’m lost!
And I want to hide away,
Because I watch my dream die,
I know, that I must get out,
For my world is falling down.
I wish, that this,
Is something that I need to feel,
I wish, that this, is not real.
I wish, that this,
Is something that is testing me,
I wish, that I was free.
Stuck, outside these walls, alone,
And there, is no one, to rescue me.
Now, I've got to get back home,
The horror of it all,
I'm on my own,
Outside of these Walls.
So, I was wrong all this time,
I wanted to believe, I could be someone that I'm not,
and I wanted to achieve, great things that I cannot.
Well, I know what I've become,
The monster deep inside,
The past can be un-done,
A future I can decide.
---
Born in the 90’s, mind in the 50’s I’d never fit in here,
I wanted a new life outside the walls of mine, in a different place,
I tried to escape I wanted to free myself, just to disappear,
I ran from my shelter, ran from the world I knew, gone without a trace.
I will remember paths that I tread on but I won't forget my fate,
To wish that I was born into another would change the way I feel,
My life would be flattened, dreams would be burnt to ash, destined to wash away,
And all I could do was wish I was someone else, someone just as real.
---
So now, I’ve got to decide,
To start once again, it depends if I’ll make it through,
And thus, I’ll re-live my life,
Seek out who I am, understand what I can really do.
I’m not, some figure of fate,
I was born to run, and become, the true person inside,
Perhaps, it’s not all too late,
This nightmare can end, I’ll pretend, that my world is alive.
--
Mother Nature has given us our,
Imagination to dream of worlds that,
Spark our future and lead us on to,
Embark on oceans of understanding.
And I,
Feel so high,
Like I can fly,
Through the sky.
We’ve been given a beautiful gift,
A force that’s driven, throughout our minds,
Let loose our dreams, to see who we are,
And use the power we hold so dearly.
And I,
Feel so high,
Like I can fly,
Through the sky.
--
“This is it.”
(Will you miss it?)
“[laughs] No, you can’t miss not being yourself”
--
Free your imagination, let loose the stream,
Flow through your vision, follow your dream.
Create a world where, you take control,
Don’t become someone, that you don’t know.
And don’t be afraid,
Get behind yourself,
So don’t be mislaid,
Make it!
I will craft my journey, be free again,
Take off my mask and, relieve the pain.
Sketch out my future, and take the lead,
Colour my path in, and set it free.
I will start to see,
As I go back home,
Opportunities,
Take it!
Thoughts that make a difference, but can’t you see,
The harsh expansion, of reality.
You’re stuck in the, circle of life,
And never fall down, without a fight.
You’re the only one,
Who can live your life,
Go on and become,
Yourself!
--
I will remember roads that I travel but I won’t be someone else,
Out of the old world into a new one where I can become myself.
Starting again and within these walls I will set out on my own,
To find who I am and reach out a helping hand to re-create my home.
I am the man who, is behind the Wall,
And I am the man who wrote it all.
Within These Walls is a story I claim,
Gordon Marks is my name.
This tale I tell is a reflection of me,
A metaphor of life, I see.
I poured my vision into a man, who was lost,
To find, all the answers at all costs.
I see a new beginning start,
Leave the Walls and make a new,
Book where a man is suffering of,
Lack of love but will break through.
This book will be my next title,
Of a man named Howard Mills,
It will have lots of emotions,
Lots of loss and lots of thrills.